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It's Gonna Happen: 18 Bold Visions of 2007
We have made some bold claims over the past few months. We wanted to make sure they are all recorded in one place so you can marvel at our wisdom.
1) Tom Brady will have roughly the same year in 2007 that he has had in every other season. His numbers will be roughly 4000 yards, 28 TDs, 15 INTs, and a passer rating of 89.
2) Anonymous Rams quarterback Marc Bulger will again throw 25 touchdowns. This will prompt Stephen Jackson to offer his congratulations to ďour fearless leader, Mack Folgers.Ē
3) Randy Moss will not double the production of Anthony Gonzalez. He will fail to double the yards, catches or TDs of a rookie, number 3 receiver.
4) Desperate for a change of pace, Detroit Lions fans will trade their grocery bags in favor of handy, dandy, identity-concealing Duct Tape. (below)
5) Jason David and Nick Harper will surrender at least 5 combined TDs to Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts.
6) The Colts will not miss Cato June. The run defense will be ranked at least 10 spots higher in 2007 and will stiffen by at least 1 yard per carry.
7) Miamiís First round draft pick Ted Ginn Jr. will throw for 3,000 yards and 20 touchdowns. No, scratch that. Heís a punt returner.
8) The Colts will win the AFC South.
9) David Garrard will be an unmitigated disaster: Garrard was border-line horrible last season, getting yanked in the middle of the last game of the season; a game the Jags had to win. In his favor, is his 60% completion percentage, and acceptable passer rating of 80. On the other hand, he also threw 9 Interceptions in just 10 games in which he threw a pass. He also fumbled twice. He was the quarterback as the Jags lost their last three games and four of their last six. One of the games the Jags won in that stretch was the beat down of the Colts, a game in which he only had to throw 14 passes because Gilbert Gardner and Cato June couldnít figure out how to tackle. When last we saw him, he was melting down under the pressure of playing a virtual playoff game. He is not the answer in Jacksonville, and will sabotage their season.
10) The Titans won't win 6 games unless Vince Young shows dramatic improvement as a passer (i.e. greater than 55% completion percentage). The Titans wonít have the same luck they benefited from in 2006.
Joe Addai will out perform Fred Taylor: This sounds obvious,
unless your name is Fred Taylor.
12) Del Rio will be fired during the season: Heís among the worst in-game coaches in the league and he has screwed up the QB situation as badly as humanly possible. His time is up.
13) As Dwight Freeney helps himself to his second sack of the game, it will suddenly hit Matt Schaub: being the second-best quarterback in the AFC South isnít anything to write home about.
14) The Colts will outperform their Pythagorean win total by more than one win (again): For the last several years the Colts have won more games than the normally reliable Pythagorean win stat would suggest. This year they are expected to win 9.6 games. They will win at least 11.
15) Giants coach Tom Coughlin will be fired for ordering the covert assassination of Tiki Barber. Backed into a corner, he will interview for his old job in Jacksonville, promising to continue the proud Jaguar tradition of .500 football.
16) San Diego will regret the hire of Norv Turner, despite excellent talent.
17) Scandal will again rock the NFL as a Youtube video will surface of Peyton Manning engaged in the heinous act of poodle grooming.
18) None of the departed Colts will outperform their replacements.
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